Saying Goodbye for Years!
The thing about missionary life is that you leave, well, everyone. In less than thirty days we will be leaving our family, friends, church family, supporting churches, other missionaries, etc. I don’t really realize it and it is overlooked by being busy and involved in the work, but every once in awhile it hits home.
We have been traveling full time for 18 months now and we “come and go” as we present our ministry in the churches across America. But you never think when you are saying good bye, you are saying goodbye for years! You just think that you will see them again.
We have friends who left on a short term mission trip to Peru some months back and they aren’t scheduled to be back until after we leave. By our next furlough they may be arriving to their field of service, so who knows when we will see them next. The bad thing about having missionaries as friends and being a missionary, is it is hard to see each other if your furloughs don’t line up etc.
We have already said bye to friends and family in Ohio but I will be going back up just for a quick final trip as we have one more meeting up there.
Saying goodbye as a missionary is a little different than just saying goodbye. Yes, we should be able to fly home if there was an emergency, but no we won’t be home for Christmas, thanksgiving, and birthdays parties every year. I guess it is just part of the missionary life, saying “goodbye” probably means goodbye for years!
Wesley Allen Wei Tolson
On February 16th, 2010, we went to the Doctor to find out about our baby that we were expecting in 19 weeks. At that time, we learned that our baby had what is known as “Body Stalk Anomaly.” (Basically, all the organs from the mid-chest down developed outside the body and attached themselves to the placenta. This condition makes the baby incapable of living outside the womb.) Natasha and I both sat in the exam room crying as we were shocked and heart broken. We were both wanting a second child.
What to do? From what we understand today, many people choose to terminate their pregnancy once they find out their baby has a problem such as ours did. We knew and had settled long ago in our hearts that we wanted God to be honored with our lives and decisions. When Natasha and I were married, she had a short phrase inscribed on the inside of my wedding band as a surprise. It says, “MAXIMUM GLORY.” Our desire as a couple and coming together in marriage was and is to bring God MAXIMUM GLORY with our lives, so we made a decision to continue the pregnancy. However, there was really no need to even verbalize it; we knew where each other stood. As stated in my original blog post on the news of our baby’s condition, we stated the following:
“The baby is currently living, and Natasha will continue to carry the baby as long as it lives. We know the Lord is in control, and we will continue as normal to see what the Lord does….We will love this baby as long as it lives. We will tell it of it’s Creator and the love He has for us. We will tell it how it could soon be meeting Him….We are thankful that the Lord has given us this child. The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away; blessed be the name of the LORD. As the baby lives we will praise the Lord for everyday He has allowed us to have it, and once it passes on, we will continue to praise the Lord!”
Our hearts were set on the Lord, and the next 100 days were filled with joy and sadness. Life went on as “normal”, but in the back of our minds, we knew every day that Natasha carried the baby would be a day closer to saying goodbye. Many prayed for a miracle or that the doctor’s diagnosis would be wrong, but Natasha and I would talk about it, and we both knew that it wasn’t the Lord’s will for our baby to be healed. We knew deep inside that our baby would die, and the Lord gave us a peace that passes all understanding. Eventually, even though it hurt and still hurts, we were ok with it.
As we continued to traveled on deputation, we would meet new people, and have to tell our story what seemed over and over again. Baby showers were canceled, we were no longer excited about buying, clothes, toys, etc. It was a waiting period. A time of sadness. We received much encouragement from friends, family, and churches.
Appointment after appointment, things never got better. After 14 weeks and two days of waiting, on Thursday, May 27, 2010 at 6:35 AM, our little baby boy was stillborn.
We were admitted into the hospital on Tuesday morning of that week. The day was full of hustle and bustle with family and friends visiting us in the hospital. By Wednesday evening, we had made very little progress in the inducing process, and at midnight chose to send everyone home to get some rest. Our midwife had told us there was too much activity, and we needed to focus on what was taking place. She suggested having some alone time. After everyone was gone, I kneeled down along side Natasha’s bed, with my hands on her belly and talked to our little baby. I told him he would probably be meeting Jesus soon and that would be much better than meeting his earthly parents. I told him I loved him, and it was okay for him to go ahead and go. I was really hoping and praying inside that we would get to spend a few minutes with our baby alive. I prayed there by her bedside and gave Him up to the Lord, as I had done before. Then Natasha and I laid in the bed together holding each other for a while.
The night went on, and Natasha became more uncomfortable and sick throughout the rest of the night. Around 6:30 AM, she called the nurse because she was feeling pressure and the nurse informed us that the baby was on it’s way. I watched as our baby was born. The process was over in just a few minutes. Though our baby did not come out alive, we were thankful that Natasha was healthy. There were many factors that could of been very dangerous for Natasha’s health (I won’t go into detail here,) but all of those were dismissed as the Lord answered our prayers on her behalf.
The nurses took the baby and made him presentable. We found out it was a boy! Then we were able to hold our little guy. He weighed 3 lbs and 2 oz and was 11 inches long. We had a professional photographer take some pictures for us to remember and cherish in the future. Many friends and family came to visit and were able to hold him as well. We named him Wesley Allen Wei Tolson.
On Friday morning, Natasha and I said our goodbyes. We had him brought to the room, had a short family devotion, told him the Gospel, even though by that time, he probably knew the whole story, and then gave him a kiss and sent him away. Natasha was released that same morning.
On Saturday, we had a small private graveside service at 10 AM. The small casket was opened for a short time for family to view him. I took a quick minute to challenge those who have watched our lives over that past few months to see God’s hand of comfort and peace in our lives and for them to trust Him as their Lord and Savior, and not only that but also to live their lives completely sold out for Him. Then, my pastor, Austin Gardner, shared a quick message on how our faith has been tested and proven, it is worth more than gold, and passing the test brings praise, honor, and glory to Jesus. After the service was over, I gave little Wesley a kiss, telling him goodbye and that I loved him.
Now as I write this, it has been three days since he was buried. I guess I am compelled to write and tell you, 1) we are thankful that the Lord has given us this child. The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away; blessed be the name of the LORD. As the baby lived we praised the Lord for everyday He allowed us to have him, and now that he has passed on, we are and will continue to praise the Lord! 2) We are not religious people or people of great faith but we serve a great God. Our hearts hurt and grieves for our little one, but the reason that we can have a peace and comfort that passes all understanding is because of who we have our faith in, Jesus Christ. We serve the only living and true God and have a relationship with Him through His Son.
Our hearts desire is that He will receive MAXIMUM GLORY, and as my wife so perfectly described it, we are on an “Amazing Journey.”
05.10.10
Our Strategy: Men. Media. Materials.
Men: We intend on following the pattern of the Lord Jesus who made it His ministry to train men that would be capable to carry on the ministry when He was gone. Our priority ministry is that of 2 Timothy 2:2 which states “And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also.” The core of our ministry and strategy is, life-on-life discipleship, to invest our lives into faithful men, who will in turn invest their lives in others.
Media: In a country like China many have never heard a clear presentation of the Gospel, so we intend on using mass-media to extend the reach of our ministry as far as possible to places that we could never reach without it. Our desire is to use every means available, as the man-power arises, to glorify God by broadcasting His gospel via internet, television, radio, or any other media platform available.
Materials: We want to produce sound Biblical material in the Chinese tongue that can be distributed and reproduced to teach the gospel beyond what we can do alone. We plan on utilizing every tool available to publish His name among those who do not know Him. This will involve translation of current materials, development of new material, and the printing and distribution of them. We want to equip pastors, missionaries, and local churches with useful resources that will help edify the body of Christ.
04.16.10
Created for Eternity!
It is interesting how God sends encouragement along the way. Our host family this past week in Ashtabula, OH (which is 12 hours from home) has experienced loosing children, similar to what we are going through. Natasha was able to talk with the wife who understands what she is going through to a degree and had a common bond.
The husband was gone all week to TN, but called this evening to encourage us with some of the things God showed him during their trying time. He encourage us with scripture and shared some practical advice on making memories with the baby.
One thing he said that really got me thinking was, he always asked God why He let the baby live just for a few minutes. After doing some research and reading Ephesians 1 he realized that the baby wasn’t created to live for a few minutes but that is was created to live for eternity.
That is powerful if you think about it. I may never get to meet our little one or maybe I will for a few seconds or minutes, but no matter what it will live for eternity.
I think to many times in a box. But our life is just a vapor. It isn’t about this life here and now anyway. It is about eternity with Him, that is what we were created for!
03.7.10
Setup Fund Update
Items Still Needed:
- Three Airplane Tickets: $4,200 – Around $1,400 total per person.
- Rent for a Year: $6,000 – Our rent for the entire year has to be paid up front.
- Customs: $2,000 – Miscellaneous custom expense.
- Shipping Expense: $1,000 Still Needed
- Stove: $1,100
- Vehicle: $3,000 Still Needed
Feel free to give for these specifically or just a general gift of any amount. Send all gifts to Vision Baptist Missions, P.O. Box 442, Alpharetta, GA 30009 with “Tolson Setup Fund” as the subject. Also, please note if you are giving for a specific expense.
Items Provided Already:
- Vehicle: Received $2,000 so far.
- Hotel Cost: Provided Already!
- Basic Furniture: Provided Already!
- Visas: Provided Already
- Dryer: Provided Already!
- Shipping Expense: Received $500 so far.
- Refrigerator: Provided Already!
- Washer: Provided Already!
Click Here for more information | Give Online | Print Setup Fund F.A.Q.
02.25.10
Email Rings: Things to Remember
I am privileged to work with several teams of people all around the world. To stay in contact, share ideas, and make it easy to communicate we use email rings (or mailing list). An email ring is a email address that has multiple members on it. When you send to that specific email address, everyone gets the email. Then when someone replies it goes out to everyone on the list too. Email rings can be great for collaboration. But they can also be bad, because it makes it easier to fight and have a bad attitude. Since I know that I am NOT always “swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” sometimes over email, I came up with the following list of things to remember when repling too or writing an email to a list like this (or any email for that matter).
16 Things to remember on an email ring:
- Do I really need to reply to this email? Is it necessary?
- Am I just arguing? or disagreeing without a cause?
- Are they really asking for my advice? or someone more experienced?
- Am I an authority on the subject?
- Should I just be a learner in this topic instead of giving my opinion?
- Am I replying back with a good attitude or out of spite and anger?
- Is my reply in any way rude, crude, or unkind?
- Will this reply publicly embarrass the other person?
- Should I just write this person an individual email?
- Is my reply positive, thoughtful, and kind?
- Will others think more or less of me based on my response to this email?
- Am I being helpful, hurtful, or just plain useless?
- If disagreeing, am I doing it with tact?
- Am I saying something that I wouldn’t say in person?
- Since there is no emotion and body language in email, can someone take the way I am saying this wrong? Should I just call or talk to them in person?
- Am I bucking against another leader, not allowing them to lead, or trying to tell them what to do?
Maybe you have more “things to remember” to add to this list?
“A Global Day of Prayer for the Chinese” (This Sunday!)
Sunday is Chinese New Year. Chinese New Year should also be known as “A Global Day of Prayer for the Chinese.” It should be a reminder to us to prayer for the largest nation and largest people group in the world today! We need to prayer for the over 1.3 billion in China as well as the hundreds of thousands of Chinese that live outside of China. Let me encoruage you and your local church to say a special word of prayer this Sunday for the country of China and the Chinese community all around the world.
Pray for souls to be saved, laborers to be sent, missionaries to boldly proclaim the gospel and God to be glorified! Click Here to visit a website where you can click on a map of China and prayer for different regions and prayer request associated with it.
Also, find a Chinese restaurant near you and make it appoint on Sunday to tell a Chinese person Happy New Year and give them the Gospel!
12.30.09
Our Church Has Moved!
Our Home Church, Vision Baptist Church, has moved locations!
The New Physical Address for the Church is: 1125 Alpha Drive, Alpharetta, GA 30004
The Mailing and Support Address is the same: P.O. Box 442 Alpharetta, GA 30009
Visit, www.visionbaptist.com, for more information!
Journey to China: The Johnsons
May I introduce to you Ben and Crystal Johnson! They are a young family from our home church preparing to go to China as missionaries. Ben and Crystal have a plan to get where God is leading them to be. He is currently training in his local church, getting out of debt and wanting to finish his “on the field” training in February of 2011. He recently made his plans known on his blog:
“The big announcement is this: a year from now (around Feb 2011) I will be finishing up my college degree by going to Peru for 6 months. Some, if not most, of you will say, “That’s it?” It’s bigger than that. It’s the next step towards China.” – Read the Whole Post -
It thrills my heart to see others willing to go, excited to go, and wanting to go! Let me encourage you to sign up for his blog “Journey to China” where you can stay in touch with him and his dear wife as they prepare for the mission field.
Ben has a heart to see God glorified in China! The following is taken from his testimony (referring about his call to China during the VisionTour China 2006):
“After my first year of college, God once again allowed me to go on a mission trip but this time it was to China. I can recall sitting in a darkened hotel room and viewing apartment building after apartment building that went on and on as far as I could see. Millions in a city with little to no gospel witness. I knew then that I would go to China for God’s glory.”
Add them to your prayer list, give as the Lord leads for their 6 months of training on the field, and let’s watch our Great God do a work through more of his servants!
One Missionary’s Story of a Chinese Village
Here is a story from a missionary who visited China in February of 2006. He recalls visiting a small village outside of one of the cities he was visiting. I have pasted parts of the story below that paint the picture of the need in China. This is the same condition of many places in China today!
I also added some emphasis: the areas that are bolded are a cry out for the need of laborers and the parts that are underlined are the problems in much China’s house church movement (lack of male leadership, teach tradition instead of Bible, attendance mainly women, doesn’t clearly/correctly present the Gospel).
“Tuesday morning we left at 6:30 to head to the country to a small farming village about 2 ½ hours from the city….
…The small village had the old Chinese brick building style. There were 3 rows of houses – maybe 50 in all. Each house was surrounded by a mud /straw fence, badly eroding by the winter elements. The streets were frozen mud with large ruts. There were dogs, chickens, ducks and large sows wandering freely. Since one of the main crops there is corn, huge piles of fodder were stacked everywhere along the road. The pigs were freely eating and laying on the pile. Most of the homes were old, but even the newer ones were all the same style. Inside was one large room – maybe 16×16 , with a queen sized concrete bed frame in the middle of the room. At the head of the bed was a small cupboard where they stored the mats and blankets they slept on. By day, the concrete frame served as a sofa and a place to put a short legged table that everyone sat around for meals. Outside the room was a narrow concrete hall that led to the only other small room in the house which was the kitchen. In it was a gas burner and a large wok for cooking , and a pump for drawing water out of a well. There was no bathroom or running water in the house….
…He talked about the 2 churches in that area. Both are led by women and both with different teachings….
…From what they said, they taught about many traditional things passed down from the ideas of people, not really what the Bible taught. Most of the villagers could not read, so just did what they were told. They didn’t use the Bible much in the services. He asked if someone could come to the village to teach. He said that there weren’t many men in the church. If a man would come, the men would also go to church. “Will someone come to teach us?” A heart wrenching question with probably a negative answer…
…She had no idea about God, just that her daughter supposedly had been demon possessed and the lady preacher at the church told her she needed to believe in Jesus, so she did. She said, “I believe in Jesus, but I don’t know what the advantage is”…
…I started from Creation and went through briefly what happens when a person gets saved and why it is important to believe in Christ as our Savior. They listened intently and also asked if a teacher would come. Again, my heart went out to them…
…Will they ever get a real witness in that village was the question lingering in my mind as we were driving away.”
-Keith Cullers