This is one of the hardest posts for me to write. Today, we went to the Doctor to find out about our baby that we are expecting in 19 weeks. Because this pregnancy hasn’t gone as smoothly as our first one, we were a little worried going into the appointment, especially since we had been given no new information at our last appointment. Well, we finally received some answers today.
We were able to hear the baby’s heart beat and see it’s profile (got a picture). We were excited! Then the ultrasound technician had to get the doctor and the doctor came in to look at the rest of the baby’s body. After she was done, she took us into a different room and explained the condition of our little baby.
Our baby has what is known as “Body Stalk Anomaly.” Basically, all the organs from the mid-chest down have developed outside the body and have attached themselves to the wall of the placenta. This condition makes the baby incapable of living outside the womb. The baby has a 5% percent chance of living. If the baby does make it full term it will only live for a minute or two.
With that being said, please be in prayer for the baby, my wife, and our family. The baby is currently living, and Natasha will continue to carry the baby as long as it lives. We know the Lord is in control, and we will continue as normal to see what the Lord does. If the baby passes away before it is full term then Natasha will be induced and give labor to the baby. This could happen at anytime, so we will be going to the doctor at least every other week to check up on it.
We will love this baby as long as it lives. We will tell it of it’s Creator and the love He has for us. We will tell it how it could soon be meeting Him.
We are thankful that the Lord has given us this child. The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away; blessed be the name of the LORD. As the baby lives we will praise the Lord for everyday He has allowed us to have it, and once it passes on, we will continue to praise the Lord!
Thank your for your prayers and concern!
February 16th, 2010 at 8:41 pm
Dear Mark & Natasha,
This must be a very difficult time for both of you. We will pray that God will give you peace and comfort as well as strength daily as you face this ordeal.
Yours in Christ,
Ed and Marilyn De Los Reyes
February 16th, 2010 at 11:40 pm
My heart breaks for you both as I was reading this, but I know we serve a God Who loves us and knows our needs as well as the path of life He has chosen for us.
We are and will continue to be praying for you both,
With love,
Max & Catrina Fernandez
February 16th, 2010 at 11:49 pm
Mark,
My prayers are with you and your family. As I read your post, it was apparent that you have grown into a mature young man with a deep faith in the Lord and that you depend upon Him for all things. (I find it hard to realize that you boys are all grown up and are adults—-I still remember you as small boys with so much energy). I am proud of the person you have become (in the Lord). God bless your family.
Cindy Johnson
February 16th, 2010 at 11:56 pm
Lord Bless and hold your family so close and may God be glorified in you and your child. May your baby be cared for by the mighty loving hands of Christ today and forever more, and our Father the Great Creator keep you and your child under His wings of love and care protecting and healing you as each day goes by! Our prayers are with you!
February 17th, 2010 at 5:02 am
Dear Mark & Natasha,
This must be a very difficult time for both of you. We will pray that God will give you peace and comfort as well as strength daily as you face this ordeal.
Yours in Christ,
Ed and Marilyn De Los Reyes
February 17th, 2010 at 12:40 am
Mark and Natasha,
We are praying for you, and will continue to pray as we wait for further updates.
Your brother and sister in Christ,
Chad and Linda Phillips
February 17th, 2010 at 12:50 am
I dont know you, but my heart aches for you and your family. May God continue to keep you all under His wings. He works in mysterious ways, ways that we can never understand but He always works it for good. I will be praying for you and your family as you go through this hard time!
February 17th, 2010 at 1:08 am
I'll be praying bro. Mark Tolson. I have no words but as you said… God is in control and may His name be glorified.
February 17th, 2010 at 1:33 am
My wife and I are heart broken and moved to tears for you and your wife. I am so so sorry for you guys. We love you guys so much and are so proud of you and your family. We will be praying much on your behalf.
February 17th, 2010 at 1:45 am
Bro. Mark,
I am sorry to hear about your little baby. We will be praying for the Lord's will to be done and for His presence to be with your small child and your family. We know that the Lord will keep you and your wife strong through this trial and that you will find His grace to be sufficient even in our weaknesses.
Jacques and Rebekah
February 17th, 2010 at 2:17 am
We love you guys and are praying for all of you.
Tyler
February 17th, 2010 at 2:42 am
Mark & Natasha,
Aubrie and I, along with our families and church families, are praying for you during this time. God is sovereign. He is all powerful and in control; he will be glorified though this. We know that our Lord Jesus will give strength and grace to get you through this trial. Our hearts and thoughts are with you.
Aaron and Aubrie Vance
February 17th, 2010 at 3:05 am
While we do not know you we will be praying for you. We lost a baby with this same defect. We will be praying for you and trusting the Lord to grant you and your family the strength, comfort and peace to deal with the days as they come.
Blessings,
Greg and Trinka Williamson
Friends of the Vances.
February 17th, 2010 at 3:11 am
I can't imagine what these moments must be like for you guys. We're praying that God will give you guys strength! Jason Holt
February 17th, 2010 at 3:14 am
Mark and Natasha,
Let the Lord be your strength in these hard times. We love you and are praying for you. We pray the Holy Spirit comfort you both, and give you peace through this storm.
Love,
February 17th, 2010 at 3:18 am
Mark and Natasha we are praying for you and for God's grace that He has promised is sufficient for everything we will face.
February 17th, 2010 at 3:25 am
We will continue to pray. We know a little of what you are going through. May God hold you close as He did us. God bless you both.
-Luke & Amanda
February 17th, 2010 at 3:26 am
I'm praying for you guys! I love y'all!
Heather Link
February 17th, 2010 at 3:32 am
Thank you for sharing your story and sharing your great faith in God. I am praying for you both.
February 17th, 2010 at 3:36 am
I don't know what else I can do but pray for your family. God's not taken by surprise on this, and His goodness does not change because of this. We love you guys
February 17th, 2010 at 3:38 am
I will be praying for you and your beautiful family. My heart hurts for you. Please know that the faithful hearts class at Eastwood will be praying for you. Love to you all… (Trents mom)
February 17th, 2010 at 3:52 am
I feel so bad for you, Mark and Natasha. I cannot imagine what you are feeling and don't know what to say as far as comforting you in this trial. But I will pray that God will give you all an extra helping of grace and peace as Natasha carries this little Angel until God calls him or her home into His loving arms.
God Bless You Both,
Carolyn Styles (Whitfield Baptist)
February 17th, 2010 at 4:01 am
Praying in earnest for your family and this small life.
February 17th, 2010 at 4:48 am
Please know that our family will be praying for yours. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. We will be praying and will let others know to pray as well.
The Andrews Family
February 17th, 2010 at 5:03 am
Dear Mark & Natasha,
This must be a very difficult time for both of you. We will pray that God will give you peace and comfort as well as strength daily as you face this ordeal.
Yours in Christ,
Ed and Marilyn De Los Reyes
February 17th, 2010 at 7:31 am
What a powerful perspective and beautiful heart. I'm convicted as I read your response to what God has allowed. May He bless you and your wife with grace, peace, and true joy (which is your strength).
“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the Lord forever: for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength.” Isaiah 26:3-4
February 17th, 2010 at 8:36 am
We prayed for you immediately after we heard last night. It is a great testimony for others to follow as you allow God's peace to reign in your hearts through this, too. God will use it. All things work together for our good, though it is impossible to understand. We love you and are praying for you.
February 17th, 2010 at 10:14 am
So sorry to hear about this. Our heart hurts for you. We love you and are praying for you.
February 17th, 2010 at 12:58 pm
Mark & Natasha,
We pray God's abundant grace and mercy be with you during this very difficult time. Life is precious. Your testimony of respecting, loving and caring for that tiny precious life that the Lord has given you is Christ honoring and exemplifies true Christian maturity and agape love in the midst of a very difficult circumstance. We pray the Holy Spirit's comfort and strength for you as you transit this valley together.
February 17th, 2010 at 2:13 pm
Bro. Tolson,
I am so sorry to hear of the condition of the baby. We love you and Mrs. Natasha very much. Please know that we are weeping with you at this time.
We are praying for you all. Psalm 147.3
We love you all,
Pastor Bret, Mrs. Tammy and Emily Pallotta
February 17th, 2010 at 2:37 pm
I am praying for you guys and love you so much… what a beautiful testimony of Godly parents who will love and care for this baby till he meets Jesus!
February 17th, 2010 at 3:08 pm
God's grace is already evident in your response to the news you received. He was there before you knew. He was there when you found out. He will be there tomorrow. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He loves you. You can continue to trust Him. Words are not enough for these things. . . . I am weeping with you, praying for you. I pray that you will continue to walk in the Grace you began with.
February 17th, 2010 at 3:56 pm
Love, prayers, and emotional support from the Johnston family are with you during these difficult days. We lost a child about 28 years ago. It was very early into the pregnancy and for unknown reasons. I am comforted in knowing that if I could not be a father to this child he/she experienced an even better Father. I have dreamed of this child on multiple occasions and am further comforted to know that one day because of Jesus we will all meet face to face. Just know that there are many people across this country who love and care about your family and are lifting up their voices to heaven on your behalf.
February 17th, 2010 at 4:03 pm
I am so sorry…my heart goes out to you…praying for you all…what amazing faith you both have…you have been such an inspiration to me since I have known you and I pray God works a miracle…please know you are in my prayers daily…may God continue to give you grace and peace during this time…love you …
February 17th, 2010 at 4:10 pm
Our prayers go with you Mark and Natasha. I can't imagine the thoughts and emotions, but please know that my family and I as well as the church in Argentina are praying for you all.
Here to Serve,
Jeff and Mindy Bush and family
February 17th, 2010 at 4:17 pm
Faith Baptist Church in Ft Pierce FL is praying for you and your family at this time.
February 17th, 2010 at 4:18 pm
What a BLESSING to see the strength of the Lord in your heart at such a sad and difficult time. What a testimony to a sinner in need of salvation! I pray for God's blessings for your family.
February 17th, 2010 at 4:52 pm
Mark & Natasha, I am touched that, even in your heartache, you are blessing others. As I read through your post, my heart was breaking for you. Then, I got to the part where you said you would 'tell the baby of its Creator and the love He has for us…..', then you continued with praise and thanks to God. As the tears fall from my face, I am reminded that God will be glorified, no matter……no matter. If we give Him praise, He will continue to Bless our lives. I know He will enrich YOUR lives through the life of this precious, precious child. My prayers are with you during this time. May God give you the strength to endure whatever lies ahead. God bless. Love & prayers.
February 17th, 2010 at 4:54 pm
I am so sorry to hear this. I have prayed for you and will continue to do so.
February 17th, 2010 at 5:05 pm
I am overwhelmed by the love, prayer, and concern of so many. Please know we are not people of great faith, just simple faith in a Great God! It is ALL because of Him that we can take the stand that we do, and will continue to…all because of Him. I wanna live for Jesus because He really is everything to me…like the words of the song go:
“We're living in uncertain times
And more and more I find that I'm aware of just how fragile life can be
I wanna tell the world I've found, a love that turned my life around
They need to know that they can taste and see
Now everyday I'm prayin' just to give my heart away
I wanna live for Jesus, so that someone else might see that He is…
Everything to me
He's more than a story
More than words on a page of history
He's the air that I breathe, the water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
Oh He's everything,”
That's my prayer!
February 17th, 2010 at 5:14 pm
Mark and Natasha,
We are praying for you at this trying time. I am so thankful that God is in control and not us. Keep us updated on everything. So thankful and encouraged by your faith and trust in the Lord when you are going through the fire. Keep your eyes on the Lord he will bring you through!!!
Ryan and Amanda and Isabella McBride
February 17th, 2010 at 6:42 pm
Mark and Natasha,
We are so sorry to hear about the condition of your baby. You and your baby are in our thoughts and prayers.
We Love You,
Wes, Lael, Ryan, Marie and Faye
February 17th, 2010 at 9:54 pm
We are definitely praying for you ALL at this time, and will continue until God delivers His answer. Nothing is impossible for Him.
We love you guys, and please let us know if we can do anything at all.
February 17th, 2010 at 11:07 pm
Dearest Mark and Natasha. May God richly bless you as you depend on Him to supply All of your needs. I will think of you often and pray for peace.
February 18th, 2010 at 1:28 am
Mark and Natasha,
I want yall to know we are praying for your family. You both are wonderful Christian people and we know God will continue to be with you through this time.
Love and Praying,
Raymond and Erika
February 18th, 2010 at 5:28 am
Mark and Natasha, a friend shared a link to your blog. Below is a note our daughter wrote today regarding the God has used a difficult time and the loss of their first baby three years ago. I trust that it will be a blessing to you through this difficult time.
“Three years ago today, our first son, Joshua, was born into this world. He was no longer living when he was born, but we knew that when we checked into the hospital early that morning. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and for some reason, I feel like I should share a little of what we have learned over the past couple of years after losing our first son. Most of you, our friends on FB, probably don't even know this story, but maybe someone out there will get some encouragement from it.
We found out a few short months after we were married that I was expecting. It was definitely a surprise! We quickly became excited, yet a little scared, at the thought of being parents.
Around 17 weeks in my pregnancy, we realized things were not going as well as they should be. The next few weeks after that became an agonizing waiting game as every other day I went for ultrasounds and check-ups. The doctor had informed us that we would most likely lose our little baby and that because I was halfway through my pregnancy, I'd have to deliver normally.
At 20 weeks, we realized our precious little baby no longer had a heartbeat. I was admitted to Labor & Delivery at 7:30 a.m. on February 17, 2007 to deliver our first son.
Joshua had all ten fingers, all ten toes. I remember clearly just how adorable his little nose and chin were! He was perfect. We fell in love with him instantly, even though we knew we would never watch him take his first steps, play his first ball game, or announce his “first love.”
Looking back, we realize that we didn't fully comprehend our loss that day until our son, Nathan, was born. For several months after Joshua was born, we struggled with questions such as “Why?” “Why did it have to be us?”
Unfortunately, we don't always receive the answers to every question we ask. The doctors were baffled by what happened in my pregnancy with little Joshua. They couldn't answer all of our questions, and they couldn't provide us with a reason why it had all happened in the first place. They did their best to support us and comfort us through those long weeks of waiting.
As I've thought about this a lot recently, many things have come to mind. I'm reminded of Psalm 139:2-3 which states,
“Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off. Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.”
We know that God understood and still understands every bit of pain we experienced when we lost our precious little son. I know God felt our pain…after all, He WILLINGLY gave up His ONLY son for us, mere sinners on this earth. If I had had a choice back then to somehow save our son, or give him up for someone else, I would have saved him! I cannot imagine giving up my son for someone else! Yet, God did that just for us, and just for you.
A couple of days ago, a friend and former boss of mine (from my years of working at the Christian bookstore), posted a short devotional. Something he wrote in that devotional really caught my attention. He wrote,
“I'm reminded of the blind man in John 9. According to verse 3, this man was blind all his life for one reason, a wonderful reason, yet one some would view as cruel! The reason for his blindness was, “…that the works of God might be displayed in him.” This man was fortunate to be chosen by God to display his glory! Every moment he lived in darkness was worth it. As a matter of fact, at the end of the chapter, we find him in worship.”
It's true that many in this world would view experiences like ours as cruel. They would question, “If God is so good, how could He have allowed something like that to happen to one of His own children?”
It is my desire to live like that blind man in John 9:3 – that the experiences in my life will lead me to display the glory of God in me. God allowed US to lose our first precious little baby boy. He may allow another person to experience cancer, and yet another to lose everything they have. Whatever God brings into our lives, He does so with a purpose. Each experience will either draw us closer to God, or push us further away from Him. If we allow it to draw us closer, we will have the joy of knowing one or many of the attributes of God in a more special way. A child without a mother or father may cling to the truth that God is his Father. A person who has experienced cancer may cling to the truth that God is the Almighty Healer. A person who has lost someone dear to them may cling to the truth that God is the Comforter.
Three years later, I must admit that there are times when it's painful to remember all that we went through with our precious little son Joshua. Yet, it is our desire that we will always let it be something in our lives that displays the glory of God, and that we might live our lives “to the praise of HIS glory.”
February 18th, 2010 at 5:58 am
Amen! Thanks!
February 18th, 2010 at 12:37 pm
We are the ones that Jonathan and Heather hope to come train with here in Japan. Although we do not know you we share your burden and pain and have begun praying for you all. We cannot imagine the emotions that tug at your heart but so thankful our Heavenly Father does understand and even shares the unstated thoughts of your hearts. We'll also pray for safety through the delivery process and the testimony we know you folks are having with others through this. May your precious baby's life be the 'avenue' that God uses to bring someone to Him!
February 18th, 2010 at 12:48 pm
We heard about your family in church last night at the Mansfield Baptist Temple. All of our prayers are with you.
The Thompson's
February 18th, 2010 at 6:32 pm
We are praying….. Lighthouse Baptist Church ~ Dawsonville
February 18th, 2010 at 6:33 pm
We are praying…. from Lighthouse in Dawsonville…
February 19th, 2010 at 3:35 am
I have studied numerous languages, but find no words… How sweet that God – the God of Comfort, Consolation, Peace, Love and Mercy – is our “one great circumstance”. Thank you for your example of resting in Him as such. I will be praying for you daily. May His peace continue to pass all understanding, may it keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
February 20th, 2010 at 1:05 pm
I just want you and your dear wife to know that we are praying for you and for the baby. I also want you to know that the hand and working of God are so evident in your lives at the time. To ask why is human, but to wholly trust and and find that comfort and help from heaven is faith in God. Your lives, your tears and your trust is a testimony of the work and grace of God in human and fragile vessels. Thank you for every day you are allowing God to show Himself through your lives. Your testimony has already touched my heart in a very mighty way. We are praying for you daily.
February 20th, 2010 at 1:32 pm
We love you all, you have a special place in our hearts and we are in prayer for your peace and strength.
February 20th, 2010 at 2:23 pm
I just can't find any words to says. Since I can't be there to give you a hug, I am asking our Father in heaven to hug you all. Praying comfort for you.
February 20th, 2010 at 5:22 pm
will be praying! We heard on our thursday service and our church is praying!
Brenda
First Baptist Church of Long Beach
February 20th, 2010 at 6:04 pm
Mark, Natasha, and Ava,
I'm so saddened to hear of your situation. Although we have lost several children through miscarriage, I haven't experienced your specific situation. But God is faithful. I'm amazed that, over 16 years after the first occurrence, God is still using the pain and emotions of that experience to help me relate to others in the ministry God has given us. My heart grieves for your little one and for your loss as parents.
Your prayer card is still on mu refrigerator, and I can't think of our school's field trip to see ICE in Nashville without thinking that the amazing display was created by artisans from the very city to which you will minister! I love how God does things like that.
Praying for you, my friends! Please keep us posted.
Julie
February 20th, 2010 at 6:26 pm
We are praying for your family during this difficult time. I'm sorry you have to go through this.
February 20th, 2010 at 11:20 pm
Mark,
You, the baby, and Natasha will be in my prayers. Take care of your wife she will need you and the lord much over the next few months. God be with you
Peace and Grace
February 21st, 2010 at 2:39 am
You are certainly in our prayers. I have not faced the trial you are facing now, but I have faith that His grace is sufficient for you and your family! Keep looking to our Father for your strength, peace and courage.
Shane
North Laurel Baptist Church
February 21st, 2010 at 2:44 am
Mark, I am so sorry to hear about this. Amanda told me over the phone a couple days ago, then I saw this post. I will be praying for you & Natasha. I really can't imagine what you are going through and pray the Spirit of God gives you a peace during this extremely hard time.
February 21st, 2010 at 4:06 am
We just received your email from our pastor, Pastor Scheer, and we are praying for God to continue to give you peace and his comfort as He goes with you thru this.
February 21st, 2010 at 8:07 pm
Mark,
Bro. Mike read some of this post this morning in the service and I want you to know that you have encouraged MY life through how you are handling this situation with such praise to God. I am praying for your family and I love you guys so much!
Sara Edester
February 21st, 2010 at 10:07 pm
It is very encouraging that yall are going to celebrate this short life. We all have trials that will strengthen our Christian life. Jill and I are in prayer for your situation. I am sure that God will use this experience for His greater good.
Mitch and Jill Green – Henry Baptist Church
February 22nd, 2010 at 4:56 am
GOD BLESS YOU ALL. THERE REALLY ISN'T MUCH TO SAY THAT WILL MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE, I KNOW FOR I TOO HAVE LOST A SON, ONLY HE WAS 23 YEARS OLD. MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU. MAY GOD RIDE WITH YOU THROUGHOUT THIS STORM.
February 22nd, 2010 at 8:55 pm
Bro Tolson, we are in prayer for you and your family. Our hearts certainly go out to you, and we pray that God shows Himself mightily in this situation.
February 22nd, 2010 at 9:19 pm
I am so sorry to hear about your baby, and we are praying that God's will be done! We love you all and thank God for you serving in China!
February 22nd, 2010 at 9:39 pm
This song was an encouragement to Natasha and I: http://www.projectchina.org/blog/2010/02/22/i-w…
February 22nd, 2010 at 9:46 pm
Mark and Natasha,
My wife and I endured three miscarriages, and though we know of no complications during her pregnancy, the loss of a baby in this way is no less painful. Having to endure this time of unknown outcomes must be even more painful for you and your wife.
Having been through the valley of loss, we know there are no words of comfort to sooth the frustrations you must feel so deeply. Just know that we are taking your prayer request very seriously, that our hearts are broken, and that we will take your request humbly before the Lord.
- John and Kay Bagwell
Saks Baptist Church
February 22nd, 2010 at 10:26 pm
I'm making a copy to post in the Church for all to pray for you, your baby, & wife. I'm so sorry to hear about your baby, it just brakes my heart.
You know that God loves us and we don't understand everything –but one day God will show us everything and how it worked in our life's. We just have to trust God.!!
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:12 pm
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I met you when you came to Bethal Baptist here in Richmond Hill. I have prayed for you ever since. God will give you the peace and grace you need to make it through and he will be waiting for your child in Heaven where he will care for her until you are there with them. God loves you and has you safely tucked under him wing. Draw on his strength. God bless and kepp you all. Love in Christ, Mary Boone.
February 22nd, 2010 at 11:17 pm
Bro. Tolson,
The Landmark Baptist Church will be praying for your family as you face these difficult days. Your strength facing this adversity is a true testimony to the grace of our God. -Bro. Keith Everett
February 23rd, 2010 at 4:04 am
Bro. Tolson.
Bible Baptist will make this a matter of urgent prayer. We will copy this and have it read in all of our services. Our Lord is Good!
February 23rd, 2010 at 1:27 pm
Bro. Mark, our prayers are with you. May this fiery trial bring you forth as gold (Job 23:10). May the peace of God keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus our Lord. (Phil. 4:7)
February 23rd, 2010 at 2:58 pm
Dear Bro. Mark & Sis. Natasha,
I made the church aware of this urgent request and I have personally taken your family to God's throne asking for a miracle. His miracle may be to heal your little one (which is specifically what I am praying for) or His miracle may be to give you both a special measure of grace that you've never known before. I cannot imagine the heavy hearts you must have but we are praying.
Pastor Wes Kennedy
Open Dooor Baptist Church
February 25th, 2010 at 5:15 am
Update on Baby Tolson: http://www.projectchina.org/blog/2010/02/23/upd…
March 6th, 2010 at 5:22 am
Update on Baby Tolson 3-5-10 – http://www.projectchina.org/blog/2010/03/06/upd…
March 12th, 2010 at 1:54 pm
Mark and Natasha,
I can't imagine what you are going through, but I know God does. My heart breaks for you and I am lifting you up to God and praying you will receive the comfort only He can give. Your sister in Christ in TN. Denise
March 15th, 2010 at 1:50 am
I've never heard of this before & therefore can't even imagine what all you are going through but God has a plan & I pray that He will give you the grace & comfort you need at this time. Know that we will be praying for you & your family.
March 15th, 2010 at 12:50 pm
Mark and Natasha, So sorry to hear about your baby. Just to let you know, you and your baby will be in our prayers! God Bless you all! Noni Asher